Continuing with the series on covenant relationship, the friendship of David and Jonathan highlights enormously the terms that compose the content of what constitutes covenant relationship. There would be no where in the church where the subject of friendship is being discussed that references would not be made to David and Jonathan’s. There doesn’t seem to be a godlier example of friendship in the Bible.

The definition of Covenant relationships was portrayed in the lines of thier relationship. We see in 1 Samuel 20:14–17, 42; Jonathan and David made a covenant of friendship and peace that was to last through their descendants forever. So we can attempt to define covenant from here as a solemn promise between two or more people. Not like the binding agreements in legal sense. A covenant is so much more than a contract. Covenant is rooted in promise and relationship. It implies a bond that cannot be easily broken by situations. Bearing in mind that these covenants remains unwritten, the definitions we give to our relationships are the covenant binding us in those relationships.

And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle. 1 Samuel 18:1-4.

The words used to describe their relationship in the verses above suggests a strong bond between them. He says their souls were “knit” together and that Jonathan loved David “as his own soul. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David and demonstrated the reality of his promise by giving his robe, armor, and weapons to David. Thus began one of the greatest friendships described in the Bible.

Friendship is important to people of faith. If we choose friends wisely and become a supportive, loyal friend, we can strengthen our faith during these unloving times. (Proverbs 27:17) So let us see what virtues we can learn about covenant relationship from David and Jonathan’s;

  1. Covenant relationship is borne out of a strong mutual Bond; The beginning of David and Jonathan’s relationship brings to mind a very important matter in friendship making. Jonathan just knew immediately David was done speaking that he was going to be a good friend. Despite the immediacy in Jonathan’s decision, the background of their meeting would help us to understand what drew David to Jonathan. Jonathan must have seen in David something they both share in common: their great faith. We well know how David was resolute to confront Goliath by Faith —1 Samuel 17:45-47. Some years back, Jonathan had acted similarly. He was sure that he and his armor-bearer could attack and defeat an entire garrison of armed soldiers by Faith in the God of the Israelites 1 Samuel 14:6. So Jonathan and David had much in common: strong faith in God, fear and deep love for him. Lately before the social media overhauling influence in our relationship making process, to make a friend somewhat required some sorts of approaching, manning up, speaking up,wooing and letting the person know all you feel about him/her. This act has it’s ills and not much an acceptable practices in the churches. FRIENDSHIP with an eternal value and long lasting purpose is not often borne out that way. Friendship as in the case of David and Jonathan’s happens naturally, as the parties involved connects spiritually, mentally, and physically; feeling pleasant to each other and finding fulfilment of purpose together. The bonding in such relationships is selfless, strong and unconditional, it is natural and real like the love of a mother to her offspring.
  2. Covenant relationship convenes an unfettered love; friendship making is incomplete until the both parties involved sees each other in the same lence of love, respect, value, loyalty, etc. One of the foundations of a covenant relationship is a shared affection and love for one another. In the case of David and Jonathan’s, we see initially Jonathan was the person in positions to help and care for David but sometimes later David came into the position to help and even though Jonathan was no more he still did something to express his love and cares to Jonathan by calling up the remnant of Jonathan’s family (Mephibosheth) and placed him in a honourable place in the palace after restoring all that belonged to the house of Jonathan to him. David and Jonathan manifested the proverbial injunction of A friend that loveth at all times, Proverbs 17:17. We have something to learn from this long term expression of love from David, we are in an age that had been so painted from various social media to project love as the ability to impress one and express to every one around that we care for one, such that we are so image conscious that we think more about the impression that we make than we do about making genuine relationships. Most times; because not all that glitters are gold, people that love us may not be in the position to rush and impress us but inside our heart we can verify their genuine love. Such is the persons to build covenant relationship with. When we build our relationships this way, we would see the rough edges and the ugliest things about us, so we will be known in the ugliest and the best and be loved for who we are, such love like David described was more wonderful than that of women. Someone who loves you will manifest God’s attributes to you the same way only God would do-“unfailing kindness like that of the Lord”. He will show you unprecedented faithfulness in and out of season, traditionally without cause and effect, Love unconditionally, mercies without quitting, gracious, helpful, kind, concerned and more. It should be easy to know who loves you because it will mimic the love like of God. We continued to read that Jonathan loved David as “as his own soul.” Actually, Jonathan loved David more than himself. He willingly gave up any hopes that he would succeed his father, and he entered into a covenant friendship with David. From then on he was concerned with David’s interests over his own.
  3. Intercession: Covenant relationship intercede for each other; it is in the nature of Covenant relationships to have the parties intercede for each other before God, in prayers. Covenant relationship from the depth of their hearts wants the good of each other and are directly concerned on their welfare. We see this description in Jonathan’s interception for David before his father just as is described in Job 16:20-21; My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as one pleads for a friend. By experience also, I learnt that there’s a supernatural bonding that exists between you and anyone you intercede in prayers for. I once had an experience in my local church. There was this senior church sister who I grew up knowing and relating with as my senior in the church. We hardly talk especially not in the platforms of friendship. But one day something dicey happened to her. It was relayed to me by another church guy because I had left that locality and only visits occasionally. The circumstances was one that was sympathetic and got me empathic. So, on one of my prayers moments I was led to intercede for her in prayers. The aftermath of the whole circumstances surprised me. Aside that the situation was turned around by divine intervention, I noticed something different with her the next time I visited that church. First, she related to me pleasantly, we had a long talk, she told everything that had transpired; I never asked her, I didn’t tell her I prayed for her, and for the first time we exchanged contact of which she continued to message and remind me of her goings. This was a surprise to me but then I learnt subsequently that those I intercede for in prayers gets closer to me and we are more pleasant to each other. Thus, I learnt in extension that praying for one can help you accept their person and have them accept you.
  4. Reliability: Covenant relationships are committed to their promise; We see Jonathan ready to make more covenant of loyalty with David than side Saul to betray David. By this time, Jonathan looked at his troubled friend and made his decision. He told David, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you” (1 Sam. 20:4). Actually it was Jonathan, who was closer to death than David, but he kept his word, and so did David. By the reliability of Jonathan in sticking with David; as expressed in Proverb 18:24, David escaped Saul’s intentions to ruin him. In those days, when a new dynasty took the throne, often the members of the preceding royal family were killed so that there wouldn’t be any rivals stirring up rebellion. Jonathan resisted rivalry. Same was obtainable in David, many years later, David remembered and kept his promise. “David asked, ‘Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” (2 Sam. 9:1). David restored Mephibosheth’s inheritance and adopted him into his own family for Jonathan’s sake. Death did not end David’s love for Jonathan. He faithfully kept the covenant he had made with him.
  5. Responsibility: Covenant relationships are responsible for each others success in the will of God; “…, Whatsoever thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee”. Jonathan continued to help David survive Saul’s hunt. ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this'” (1 Sam. 23:15-18). Jonathan’s encouraging words helped to comfort and strengthen David through to the victory.
  6. Loyalty not royalty: Covenant relationship connotes selflessness; Proverbs 18:24 Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers. King Solomon in the verse above tells us that a true friend is always loyal. Covenant relationship demands Selfless Sacrifice. When Jonathan stripped off his armor and weapons, he acknowledged the kingship of David over himself. The sacrifice of time, resources, emotional energy, and preferences; I.e: getting to know people, making time to spend with them, bearing with their failures, and working to forgive them when they wrong us, are what keeps relationship strong. Jonathan passed the test of loyalty to David when he took instructions from David to verify Saul’s stands about David’s life.


Its common in Christian relationship for one (especially guys) to blush and crush at the other in the private. Especially; through calls, chats and messages. Sometimes, including when they hangout alone.

But when they are in the presence of igwemmadu(other brethren),they tend to act like they never knew the other nor have any interest to do so, sometimes even avoiding them in the public.

These attitudes is very wrong.
Friendship exist when two or more persons acknowledges a sense of (mutual) relevance and developed a sincere respect for (each of) the other.

Identifying with your friends in the public shows you are proud of them as well as the relationship. True friends should have a sense of mutual privilege to be with each other anywhere.

The contrary could have a lot of interpretation; like you are trying not to give other friends the impression that this is your favourite. Or your friend is not good enough…

COVENANT RELATIONSHIP I I: Daniel and his three Friends.

Then the king made Daniel a great man, and gave him many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon, and chief of the governors over all the wise men of Babylon. Then Daniel requested of the king, and he set Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, over the affairs of the province of Babylon: but Daniel sat in the gate of the king.

Daniel 2:48-49

Selflessness is the solution to every challenges we can name in our relationships. The case of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is another biblical examples of Covenant relationships that is completely Divine. Theirs is a highlight of Proverbs 18:24 ‘a friend who sticks closer than a brother’. The Divine factor in their relationship is most overwhelming in the various ways God used them to show King Nebuchadnezzar and the entire Babylonians that God is great and the only God.

Unlike Abram and Lot whose relationship was being negatively threatened by strife and competition, the relationship between Daniel and his friends was rather threatened positively by a change in status; promotion. Like the Bible described promotion in Proverbs 19:4, 6-7

“Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend. Many curry favor of an official; everyone is a friend of the gift giver. All the relatives of a poor person shun him—how much more do his friends avoid him! Though he runs after them pleading, they aren’t around”.

Promotion brings many new friends and creates a wall against the old friends. This is probably because people like to show off their new status and most times they do this by parading with the people in their new status to show that they too have arrived.

The importance of Covenant relationships as enlisted in my previous article ( is much to be esteemed than the pleasure in new flashy friends. In the case of Daniel and his friends, their continued relationship remained a threat to the kingdom of darkness prevailing over Babylon.

To make a relationship work in circumstances like this requires that one shew himself friendly by looking out for one another and stick to being a friend sometimes by taking cautious measures to keep the relationship working. Like Daniel did when he requested that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego be promoted to high positions. At Daniel’s request, the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be in charge of all the affairs of the province of Babylon, while Daniel remained in the king’s court.

We have a lot to learn on covenant relationship from this singular act of Daniel;

1. Many persons talk about defining a relationship: we may consider defining our next relationships as a covenant relationship. Are there persons that gives you a synergistic capabilities to do the impossible? ( the one shall chase a thousandth and two ten thousandth principle). We need to define them, define the areas of this capacity and consciously stick to them.

2. Purpose thrives effortlessly in partnership. By doing your part and having others do theirs, the goal is achieved effortlessly. This principle (the partnership principle) is highlighted in the purpose for which God tasked Elijah to anoint Elisha, Jehu and Hazael all to one goal (1king 19:15_17): watch what God said in verse 17: “And it shall come to pass, that him that escapeth the sword of Hazael shall Jehu slay: and him that escapeth from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha slay”.
We need partners who fights with us in every course of life. Fighting in prayers, in wisdom, in counsel and in action. Remember, “Two is better than one…and…a triple-braided cord is not easily broken”(Eccl4:9-12).

3. We need to define a set of friends we could comfortably account to (the accountability principle). Many a times we enter into mistakes when we adopt ‘mind my business’ approach to life hurdles.
For instance, decisions like dropping out of school though not always a foolish decision, but if we are able to open up to friends we get better convictions that we are rightly led. Most of our secret decisions are full of risks and dead ends. I know, no one will successfully commit suicide if he/she opens up to a friend!
Do not keep your secret decisions to yourself; make friends who are accountable, who you could share counsel with.

Daniel was the wisest man in the empire, but he still needed his covenant friends to lend their might to his assignment !



But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:28
Many attempt to define virginity brings the above verse of the Bible to mind.

Others have also defined virginity around the hymen concept: like defining virginity as one who has not involved in vaginal-penis sexual activity.
These two approach to defining virginity is very extreme and despicable.

In the first extreme, it will be necessary to emphasize that virginity though a laudable virtue but on its own as a state of sexual purity does not connote a right standing with God.

A working definition of virginity here will render virginity as a STATE of MEMORY purity about SEXUAL ACTIVITIES. A good test on what should fall under sexual activities is its trail on the memory of the persons involved. This is why virginity is not holistically a spiritual state because even after you have repented and forgiven, the memories of moments of sexual activities continues to be there.

This fact addresses the first extreme in the definition of virginity as a state of the heart/spiritual purity. To be considered and excluded from the definition of virginity is the bodily and soulish aspect of man. Bodily, man is a physical, biological or physiological beings with instinctive hormonal meditated responses. In the soul aspect of man, man has a mind which is the oceans where the wind of thought blows to cause it’s wave of emotions. As long as man lives, the mind cannot cease to receive the winds of thought!

Having established this, it will be necessary to revisit the statement our Lord Jesus made in Mathew 5 above. Firstly, He was referring to adultery/sin; not virginity: a state of the memory. Thus, this verse should not be extended from adultery; specified, to virginity by any means whether inductive or deductive. That’s why it should be emphatic that virginity is only a virtue and not a state of right standing with God.

Secondly, He was speaking to the Jews; scribes and Pharisees who as we well know, were ardent adherents of the law of Moses, the Torah. I believe that our Lord Jesus making the statement above was intending to deny the Jews of any platform to stand and feed on their self righteous attitude but for all to acknowledge the hopeless state of man and acknowledge their need for a saviour as the only way they can fulfil the law which they so much love.

So to quote the above verse of the scripture would mean crossing out every one from the virginity status which is unobtainable. Every sexual lust that is not controlled would often graduate into pornography, masturbation, bestiality etc. Until then, it is not a sexual ACTIVITIES yet.

Also, it should be emphatic that virginity is not defined as one who has not lust/thought lustful-from the hallmark of the mind activities but defined as one who has not engaged(physically) in any sexual activities.

Albeit, am I endorsing dirty thoughts? NOP! Our thoughts is influenced by what we hear, see and do. The Bible enjoins us to renew our mind by reading the word of God(Rom12:2; Eph 4:28). This way, our mind is submerged in the spirit and our body too is stayed.

On the other extreme, virginity is not limited to presence or absence of hymen. Men don’t have hymen after all. The definition of virginity includes every sexual ACTIVITIES like; Masturbating alone or with a partner, oral, vaginal, and anal sex, kissing sexually, rubbing your bodies together in romance, bestiality etc. It includes every source of sexual satisfaction, acclamation, habit or addict. Many persons whose hymen is still intact(in the faces of other factors that can tear the hymen noted) could get a legal chastity of virginity but not a memory chastity. There’s no virginity in the absence of sexual chastity for virginity is a chastity belt: all things being equal.

Summarily, you are a virgin if you have not involved in any sexual activities. If you are not a virgin, this is not a condemnation but like our Lord Jesus said to the woman taken in adultery; go and sin no more! Lean on God through Jesus to overcome every sexual activities outside marriage.

I Love You😁



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Can a Christian say ‘l love you’ to a fellow believer?

Without the fear of being misunderstood or having his motives misinterpreted?

Many of my African friends may answer yes to these but taking it further-when last did you say ‘ l love you’ to someone?

Many classical African churches would answer NO and assert that you only say it to your wife or fiancee. This is typical of churches who prefer to play safe in their approach to teaching by adopting a conservative demeanour. There’s a questionable sides to such classical religious line of thought especially judging from the fact that these teachings most times is not what the student Christian do outside. So rather than pretend and run in hypocrisy it’s better to divulge every concept with the truth in simplicity.

Other persons may also say NO and explain ‘ l love you’ as a phrase that’s been heavily mumbled, wumbled and misused by the world. those in this school of thought decides to adopt the total abstinence approach. This is a hard attempt because we have the nature of God which is love, one cannot continue to suppress ones content, it will always want to have an expression. I would rather propose that Christians relearn what the Bible has about love, and instead of copying from the world should insist on the biblical injunction thereby salt the world on what love is.

Many African would also say NO in the spirit of Africanism. But this is all tendencies toward the status quo, not really love for African values per say. Our world is changing- sorry it have undergone series of changes. We would do better to analyze this changes with the Truth; the WORD, in simplicity and not by sticking to what we think even at the risk of pretends.

Love as a concept has been so much redefined. Some choose to approach the definition of love by splitting it into cadres; phileos, Eros, Storge, and Agape. Though I have my reservation about this approach because the Bible did not have such rendering-understandably the explanations are rooted in the Bible. The splitting should better be emphasized for the purpose of comprehension. Love is love, with all it’s component it functions as one entity. Trying to split love is like trying to split an individual into spirit, soul and body. Instead, a gold definition for love is no other but as outlined in 2Cor 13. Love conceptualized this way can be confessed, shared, and expressed to one another in the faith.

O yes! We must come out from the fear of misinterpretation. We live in a Small world; once it occurs to one, soon it will occur to all. All that is needed to address this fear is to create a state, a shared sense of understanding in one another in the what’s not and what love is. Such understanding could include;

1. ‘l love you’ is not a proposal, it does not mean am thinking futuristic of you.

2.’ I Love You’ could simply mean an expression of gratitude, pleasantries, goodwill, acceptance, value, greetings, etc to one another.

3. It is also not wholly an expression of the emotions or feelings. Love is spiritual and has an emotional and physical connotation. So ‘I LOVE YOU’ rather connotes that someone had successfully connected with you spiritually; had found purpose, fellowship, comradeliness, and more with you. Though emotions cannot be completely excised but it should not be the emphasis, and love too is not complete without the physical aspect-sacrifice.

4. Love is not a good feelings only-it is such feelings as the journey to the cross or 2 Cor13.

5. Love is not infatuation, lust, physical attraction or hormonal reactions to opposite sex.

6. Love is love, no more no less! You cannot say I love you with brotherly love (phileos) for instance. Trying to explain or tag your love expression would only bring more confusion-leave it simple: ‘I LOVE YOU’

7. Every one desires to be loved, no one would be offended when you say ‘I love you’. Rather it is the fulfilment of the gospel-love your neighbors as you love your self: hereby is all the law fulfilled (Gal5:14; Roms 13:10). ‘I love you’ would be a very effective way to exercise Eph 4:29:

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

‘I love you’ should thus be purposefully said, not given to flattering. When used in this faith it can bring peace to a troubled minds, if said to someone in pain, it can help relieve their pain, it can bring healing to the sick, it can bring edification to one in depression, it can bring sense of value to one feeling inferior, hope to one in despair, especially depending on who is saying it, it brings the giver and the receiver to a level of spiritual, emotional and physical pal.

8. ‘ I love you’ is an antidote that should be shared without reservation, good for the goose and gander. It’s expression should be shared from the grassroots; from the grandparents to the parents to the siblings to the friends to the partners to the strangers and to all.

9. ‘I love you’ should not be controversial, it is necessary to be informed about the level of understanding and sense of reasoning between the two parties and to first build a mutual understanding on the what’s and what’s not of love. If you want to experiment it, you could start by saying it to parents and siblings and you would see how it feels and be more comfortable when you say it outside.

Happy New Year#

I Love You!

Covenant Friends; a prerequisite for living life by design

Covenant friends plays a helpful role in the journey process into the success destinations of ones life purpose. This they do by giving sound counsel, accountability with feedback of their growth works. Oftentimes, they are lifelong friends who relates with honesty as a hallmark and would tell the truth irrespective of whose ox was gored. They are no praise singers nor lover of of sentiments, rather they love for the content of their character.

You need this kind of friends for 2019

A REAL MAN (Jn4:1-34)

Who is a real man?

A real man is not afraid to tell the truth(Jesus told her the truth about her life).

A real man will never take advantage of the woman(Jesus didn’t take advantage of her affinity for men).

A real man keeps secrets(Jesus didn’t share her secret with his disciples who were his closest pals).

A real man does not show interest in a woman’s body(for the woman to have had six men, she must have been really gorgeous and attractive but Jesus was not interested in her body).

A real man has a sincere desire to help the woman rediscover their dignity and strength(Jesus cultivated her influence).

A real man is compassionate

A real man is selfless( vs6. Jesus therefore being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well. Jesus was very tired yet He had time for the woman).

A real man is workaholic(vs32. He said to them, I have food to eat of which you do not know, He was addicted to work).

A real man is passionate about the things of God.

A real man is a priest; he can teach the values of the kingdom; he can teach God’s word.


God gave man power and authority but gave the woman influence. Influence determines the direction of authority and power. Success begins when one learns to balance these two.
The Samaritan woman sought for a real man and she eventually found one because the things you meet in life are the expression of the desires and longings of your heart. What you truly long for you cannot miss.

The real man is the man that God can commit resources to. There’s something God gave the woman strictly to help the man succeed. What God gave Eve to help Adam fulfil purpose was INFLUENCE. This leads us to the questions:
Why did Jesus spend time with the Samaritan woman?
Jesus saw in her an influence he needed in order to conquer Samaria. It’s greatness manifested when a man learns to take seriously the influence of a woman. THE GREATEST THING A MAN COULD DO THEREFORE IS TO CULTIVATE THE INFLUENCE OF THE WOMEN AROUND HIM. A man must understand the important of building dignity and honor around women. The proverb 31 man cultivated the influence of his wife and released her. If you are married, develop your wife by teaching her your values, the principles that drive you, your likes and dislikes and by telling her your goals and the visions that God has given you. She’s it is to teach same to the children because woman is the executor. In a family where the wife is not the executor but the man, the woman is subdued; her influence is caged; her relevance is restricted. The first job of the man is to cultivate the influence of his helper!

Happy New year in advance!!!

WE CAN’T GO BACK TO THOSE DAYS! Antithesis on the realities of the current dispensation.

Living in the 21st century all by itself is a challenge by defaults!
There is a need for a redefinition of a lot of concepts and ideas(paradigm) to stand the time that we are in-not necessary outside the standards of Christ and the word of God but by identifying anomalies in the old paradigm and inductively describe the present realities, thus in a way of profering solutions: orchestrate a new paradigm.

At various times in the bible, there was a clear mention of different ages in human history: ages past (Hebrew 6:5); the periods spanning the entire old testament, i.e.: from the creations of the universe to the dispensation of the law of Moses. The present age (Gal 1:4); the period between the two advent of Christ. While the future age(Eph 2:7, Heb 6:5) are periods of Christ second advent to the creation of the new earth and new heaven. The present age is the age we currently live in. It is also called the church age or the era of Grace.

The relationship counselors in most cases had not always touched the unmet needs of the present day youths. Because, rather than define the problems of the youths and their cause(cause and effect), they are often found rather pointing the youths back to how things were done their days. Most of what were obtainable those days were either borrowed from the old testament practices or borrowed from the people’s traditional practices. But there have been an overhaul of the old testament especially lately, there been a lot of redefinition in the church. On the traditional practices too, globalization has brought a lot of rationalizing, integrations and copying to our cultural heritages. There are lots of changes between the realities of then and now, with lots of redefinition the youths have taken in, lots of information they have access to, lots of novel challenges they face, lots of influence they receive; all these and much more combine to make the present age a serious dynamic system which is not detectable by any single tradition, doctrine or dogma but by the truth and the truth alone. Because only the truth continues to hold no matter where one feeds from.

Think of today’s youths, think globalization and its pros and cons!

The youths counselors who wants to coach the present day youths successfully may need to first identify the needs/challenges of the youths especially the African (Nigerian)youths. For instance, lack of job opportunities-this alone have a great deal of effect to some common life programming. There’s rather a reprogramming on relationship matters among the youths. The counselors need to highlight these problems and then define what really matters. This is where many relationships counselors miss it, and major reasons why the needs of the youths on relationship are not being addressed.

The counselors say something else the youths continues to do something else!

There is a need to dissect the present realities, the realities of those days does not hold presently, as can be deduced from the following changes in times and tides:

1. Those days, the definition of courtship is when a man finds someone he loves, he informs his pastor who raises a committee that will monitor and mentor them to marriage. But today when a guy loves someone, he first gets closer to that person and grows in relationship with the person from acquaintance to friendship before coming to define/agree to have a futuristic relationship. It is at this point that the present day youths would inform the church with all things being equal, through the pastor who would invite them for counseling as the case may be, but not raising a committee to monitor them. This way, the bond and purpose created in the to be partners is stronger and people who have the similar likes are attracted together over a common interests, this interest still prevails even after they are married and beyond the wedding, they would still have their marriage sweet.

The system in this present age is not in anyways inferior-just like what they had those days worked for them, this is quite better and working!

2. Those days when men approach ladies, it’s serious and probably for marriage. They are taken seriously when they say ‘God told me you would be my wife’. But this days, when guys approach ladies, it’s hardly with serious intentions and at most for the purpose of friendship and nothing more would be assumed by the lady until otherwise stated. Till then too, the man has no right to demand her exclusive attention-this is important for many counselors that wish to address why ladies/guys keep multiple friends. The youths lives in a social networks, the realities is that the friends are only a part of the social networks. A good social networks is garnished with people who give joy, love and purpose to one another lifes. This people are randomly dispersed and is only by relating freely that one come into the very person where ones fulfilment is most aken.

3. Those days when a man says ‘i love you’ to a lady, is with all seriousness(spiritually and emotionally)and the response from the lady is as same. Stories tells that those days lady often get shy and responds with their face down and their foot drawing circles on the ground. But not so this days, love had been much redefined. This days when a guy says i love you to a lady, the lady looks his face and replies with a ‘thank you’ to him. I love you is no longer an unusual compliments. Is now as common as saying good morning. And if the guy seems to be too serious about the’love you’, the sisters give even a more intriguing response like; … make it work!

4. Presently, people Marry with a sense of purpose, those days, ladies are usually absolutely submitted to what the man got to offer and other times have nothing to contribute aside the home crafts. Today, people don’t just go into marriage but chooses their life partners with a lot in consideration: parenting partner, business partner, ministerial partner, traveling partner, leisure partner, career partner etc.

5. Those days marriage was a means to an end for the female folks. But recently, we begin to hear stuffs like career women. As such, as with the programming for men, the ladies too operate with a sense of phases, season and apt timing for marriage. The rush into marriage syndrome is low proportionately to levels of literacy. The life programming that worked then by all means, do not longer apply today. Those days at most after graduating and serving in the NYSC one considers marriage(as they are often employed immediately). Not so this days, financial factors has become a big bane on time of marriage and the ladies are joining in trying to pave a track/path(acting like a lady but thinking like men) of life for themselves before thinking marriage.

These and more are reasons why we can’t go back to those days!


What makes men to quit

T’s not the firm resistance in a ladies disposition

T’s not the yes in the NO of a lady

T’s not her un-reciprocal disposition

T’s not her lack of understanding nor her weird disposition

T’s not her (nasty) excuses

MEN quit on a lady

When the lady presents another MAN

When the lady responds with an insult

Insults from ladies to men leaves a deep wounds that could touch the marrows

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29