CAN ANYTHING GOOD COME FROM NAZARETH: the danger of a single story

⁴⁵Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”⁴⁶“Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked. “Come and see,” said Philip.⁴⁷When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.”⁴⁸“How do you know me?” Nathanael asked. Jesus answered, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.” ⁴⁹Then Nathanael declared, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the king of Israel.” ⁵⁰Jesus said, “You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things than that.” ⁵¹He then added, “Very truly I tell you, you will see ‘heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on’ the Son of Man.”(NIV)

John 1

 When your partner is a Nazarene and the conviction looks doubtful  

Prelude

From an early time when I started talking with her about a committed relationship, she would always recount to me indirectly about certain places and people’s groups she is not able to marry from because she won’t be given the go-ahead and how she had in time past refused to engage in something serious with such peoples group. Each time she says that I would be like, ‘what if is someone you truly like, love, and wants?’.  She would be like, ‘is it only from there that a nice person can come from for my liking and love?’ Meanwhile, for me, I feel that Love happens to people and when it does, reasons are less important because as the saying goes: ‘love is blind’.

I have witnessed practical examples of intending couples who did not receive the go-ahead-permit from the parent and seen how complicated it makes things. In most cases, I have seen tenacity and resolute resolve among the intending couple to pull through even when it requires waiting and applying patients. Because, before two people would come together for lifetime decision of marriage, something not ordinary would have in most cases happened to them. The woman must have happened to be the missing rib of the man. They would have had a soul tie and a peace together that seals their convictions. Thus, reasons to pull them apart are usually a trial/test they need to pass.

Fears of marrying into a people or persons of doubtful history or somewhat stigma (the Nazarenes) is not new but also always a story for the tale. Even Jesus had to share from such stigma status and history by coming from Nazareth, one of the lowliest places on earth-was not known for many good things.

My thought is, before any barrier is raised to stop intending couples from progressing to actualizing their desires, there should be proper discernment, checks, cautions, and re-examination of self to be clear that purpose and God’s intentions are not being strangled. It is not easy trying to stop what is meant to be. Intending couples who have found love and peace are like moving trains; it is not a normal thing to stand in their way. So, serious caution is warranted by all parties involved.

Meeting the Nazarene

But did this mean that parents should keep mute and not show concerns over who they are giving out their child in marriage to? Of course, no no nop. There is only the need for caution to avoid the ‘danger of a single story’ in Chimamanda Adichie’s words. Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice (the African ways) and warns that if we hear only a single story (a single narrative) about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding. When Africans, for example, are treated solely as pitiable poor, starving victims with flies on their faces; her point was that each individual life contains a heterogeneous compilation of stories. The single-story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story. If you reduce people to one story, you’re taking away their humanity.

Especially, in this case-study, where it involves an individual person, there is a need to give attention to the person in question as a separate entity from the people’s history for every individual undergoes life processes and circumstances that make their own history. So, there is the need to meet the person, to examine this person, to discern this person, and understand this person. Besides, in the Christian faith, God requires us to see every believer as a new creation, different from the syndromes, symptoms, and stigmas of the worlds’ people. They are born again; they do not have the character of the world: they have the character of Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” This verse should not be forgotten or taken lightly at all because God’s dealing with those that seek His face is firstly a process of transformative molding. That we all would be like Christ, the Bible said: everytime we seek Him, we are beholding Him/Christ as a mirror, which is able to change us from glory to glory (). Our minds is also made new each time we study the Bible (). Again the Bible teaches that “every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer” (1 Timothy  4:4-5).

The Nazarene disposition

And, so for the Nazarene, there is ought to be a mature, informed, and sensitive response and approach to this time and test.  Especially, for a stigma that is long and well known among the public. It would not be the fault of the other parent and they are not blamed for entertaining doubt about giving their beloved child to a stigmatized people’s group. Instead, a matured response would be one that identifies with their fears as reasonable, warranted and one that is expected. Personally, in my experience, I grew up not liking everything around me, especially after I traveled and came back. I felt like a messiah that is born to dedicate my life to bringing positive changes in this regard. And, regarding marriage; I long told myself that I would not marry from around. So, I totally understand it when it backfired to serve me my share. I felt like what I feared around is now feared in me.

With this understanding and mindset, the Nazarene ought to accept the stigma without any intentions to defend it as non-existence but should create RE-ASSURANCE about their uniqueness, difference, newness, transformation, re-orientation… they should be that good one from Nazareth. The Nazareth should understand the fears, ask for wisdom to build, create and establish that those things feared would not happen by letting them see how you would not give it chance to happen.

What the two should do

Trust God, and be prayerful

Go back to God who gave you the convictions to help you convince your people too.

God can change the hearts of man. Wait for God who can change all heart. He makes the crooked way straight ().

Decide if you are fully convinced to make it work

Our significant other with decisions made under God are pretty much irreplaceable persons in our life. They hold our joy and peace in a way that is unique and effortless. Besides, this persons represent a desired life vision, gives your life a scaling satisfaction… Such that, it will deserve the decision of the two to stick together, holding-on to pull through. Your unwavering oneness will help you pull through.

Decide to obey your people and continually act in obedience

The attitude of the intending partners is paramount here and needed to be deliberately helpful. Not everyone could stand such oppositions without giving up or reacting.

Provide all details and show your sincere decision and informed passion.

Confront your people with your reasons. Put your arguments forward. Even the Bible said ‘come let us reason together…’ Tell them the reasons why they should agree with you. Tell them this person is unique, different from the said stigma, godly, loving, god-fearing, committed… Sell the person to them! Tell them you are at safe hands with this person, how you are convinced you are taking the right decisions. Give details on the passion, love and joy you share, your compatibility of vision, companionship, similarity of training, beliefs and Faith. With all these details, you are giving them something to reflect on.

Consider involving third parties

Just like other life issues, people have their different personal ideologies of life but of they meet someone that is capable of talking with them (say your pastors or leaders), they might get more enlightened. People who will explain to them that, no stigma is generic, that the person in question is different. With God helping, others can help change their perspective.

Apply waiting, and be patient until your change comes.

For the peace and convictions you share with your intending partner, it will worth any wait and you can bear these pressure. Time hells heal doubts and weaken oppositions. Times of crises and fear are notable to bring doubts in your convictions. It might leave you introspecting wether their thoughts are right and you are the ones being stubborn. So, you could be pressured to doubt and give up on your convictions. Even in the Bible, while John the Baptist was in the prison, it got to a point when he began to doubt if Jesus Christ was the promised Messiah though he clearly got the convictions about Jesus before anyone else ().

Even Jesus Christ while in the to the cross nearly gave up but He bagan to pray to God for help and the that God’s will prevails (). This should be a good example for us too. If we made this decision under God, we should look unto Him for strength to pull through such a trying time.

Grace is multiplied